IF SOMEONE passed on a sticker to you, or you saw a sticker with the website on it you may be wondering what it's all about. It is quite simple. I just got sick and tired of hearing and reading about all the violent, mean, cruel, hateful, greedy, people in practically every story one hears or reads. Each day it seems to get worse and the stories become more and more shocking. Apathy, insensitivity, and cruelty abound! Have we all become mechanical robots, like the Tin Man, with no heart?
THIS IS my personal vendetta against the brutality and futility of the times. My intent is to create positive feelings and actions toward one another, and stop focusing on the suffering and fear. Instead, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!! EACH PERSON CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
ONE DAY when I had enough and could not hear about one more atrocity of human dereliction, and was getting so angry at how evil seemed to be winning, and is even considered advantageous now, I decided to do something more than what I had already been doing in my own individual way. There is nothing to lose by trying and maybe, just maybe, we as women through this simple action can make a difference! Even though the "statistics" say that women are less supportive of each other than men. I prefer to believe that is not the case.
YOU HAVE A STICKER given to you, or you buy one or several at cost, because this is not about money. You place that sticker on your car, on your purse, on your clothes, wherever it is in sight. By displaying your sticker you are giving an agreement to help and watch out for other females, within your capacity to do that. THAT'S IT! That is the same thing you say to another female when you give them a sticker IF YOU WISH.
BY DOING THIS simple action you will feel a part of something that is larger than just yourself, that immediately bonds you with other women, females, young and old. You may do nothing more than just pass on the stickers, make new contacts with other women, possibly friends, and watch out for them wherever you may be. It may be waiting till a woman is in her car in a dark parking lot. Watching out for one another jogging, walking in a park. It may be lending a hand in need in some way, or simply a kind word, an arm to lean on, opening a door. It may be just a smile that makes another woman not feel so alone.
IF WE AS FEMALES can somehow create a nurturing energy towards one another, we can help this world to heal, by healing ourselves??? After all that is what we are known for and also criticized for, so why not use it. I believe the HEART is a primary asset of women. Without the love and caring that come from women, this world would really be in worse shape than what it is. And from what I hear more and more young girls, women, are trading in their hearts for violence, greed, deception and abuse. If women give in, we might as well blow up the planet and start over, in fact that is probably what will happen.
THIS IS NOT JUST ABOUT ABUSE TO WOMEN OR SELF DEFENSE, but a SIMPLE ACT OF KINDNESS.
The links I want to create are for women in many areas, from free services, information about health, hormones, who to call for help with fraudulent phone calls for older women, as well as self defense information and sites. So PLEASE SHARE YOUR SITE IN AN EXCHANGE IF IT PERTAINS TO THIS.
It could be making a call if you see someone who looks like they are in trouble. It might be making a call if you see another female drunk and getting in a car. Maybe it is helping a female with a flat tire, and seeing the logo could make her feel more comfortable. But again, it is about being aware not stupid!! Obviously there are females that can be ruthless, and if a female pulled up with a male and had the logo I wouldn't go for it. With young girls in school, it can create a bond where it's about helping and not hurting, and creating a friendship with other girls that might otherwise feel isolated, because you are giving a helping hand. BRUTALITY AMONG YOUNG GIRLS IS ON THE INCREASE. Just recently here in Omaha Nebraska 2 girls were beaten severely and one was killed by GIRLS!
It doesn't need to be a near death rescue that you are doing. It could just be saying "hello" to another female that you didn't know. It could just be creating the feeling of security by seeing that logo on another females car in the car wash. My 87 year old mother gave a sticker to a friend of hers and when my mom was sick she brought some food to her to make her feel better and said "This is for Aubrey's Heart.". There are a million ways to help this world be a better place, that really does not take a lot of effort or money. My thing is that I don't have a right to complain unless I am trying to do something to change it. And every little good deed helps our world to be a better place. It changes the attitude, and the attitude is behind the action, and the action can make a difference!
Another lady did something more daring, but not the thing for everyone to do. She saw a woman being beaten severely on the side of a road. She immediately called 911 and pulled over to see if there was anything she could do. She watched men drive by in pick up trucks that could have easily stopped it. Finally, she couldn't stand it because he was beating her so badly that she got out of the car and came up behind him, because he was bent over beating her head into the ground and gave him a big kick on his rear end and yelled at him to get off her. He of course turned around in anger, but thank goodness 3 police cars pulled up at that time. The calling 911 would be the safest thing to do, which a lot of people just don't bother to do anymore. They believe it won't make a difference. And maybe it won't, but again maybe it will!!!
USE COMMON SENSE AND YOUR NATURAL ABILITY OF INSTINCT. Profilers of women who have been raped and murdered determined through interviews that women almost always had an instinct about the situation or person beforehand, but did not listen to it.
Why do this
You may say that you already do nice things and look out for others, so why do the sticker? This is a way to do that on a regular basis so that helping other females just becomes second nature, and when more of us are doing that, it will create an energy, AN ENERGY OF GOOD that can combat the evil that is growing so rapidly in our society. The logo is just a representation as a reminder that creates an awareness, a CONSCIOUSNESS, to HELP one become cognizant of continuing to PASS ON that energy of good.
This is like the movie "Pay it Forward" where one person does a good deed for someone else and then they pass that on to another, etc. etc. Same thing, but don't just do one good deed, keep passing them on and helping other females. There is so much we can share with one another, young and old and everything in-between. It is about TAKING BACK THE NIGHT, but also TAKING BACK THE GOOD, THE MORAL AND THE POWER TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN OUR SOCIETY. I do believe we as women have incredible power. We don't have to keep living in fear, looking over our shoulders all the time, not have a voice because you may not have the time to get involved with anything. It doesn't matter whether you are a teenager, a mom with kids, a career woman, etc., all you have to do is watch out for other women and do something positive for one another when it fits.
Just looking out for one another can create an incredible feeling of security and support that we don't normally have outside of our own houses, and THAT FEELING CAN WORK MIRACLES!!!
I invite you to share your experiences, tools, thoughts, and how you have made a difference.
Remember this is not just protecting ourselves from abuse, although there is a lot we can do for one another in that area, whether, physical, mental, emotional, elderly abuse, child abuse etc., but it is creating a POSITIVE awareness of others and helping in MANY DIFFERENT WAYS.
Information and stories, personal and otherwise, involving abuse and self defense
Women in Florida buying guns
SOME YEARS BACK there was a story about a town in Florida where there had been a high number of rapes. All the sudden there seemed to be synchronicity of thought and women started buying guns. The police got a bit nervous because as the saying goes "There is nothing more dangerous than a woman with a gun, who doesn't know how to use it!" Especially if she is PMSing! So they had some articles in the daily papers about the buying of guns by women and that they were offering free classes on how to use them. This made the men aware in the area that women were packing! The amount of rapes went down significantly, and they discovered through follow up that most of the women who had guns never had to use them, but it kept them from feeling like they were a victim, a target all the time. The playing field became more equal and therefore the abuse was shut off and the need to defend was not needed. And that is my philosophy. Try to make the playing field equal as best we can so the need to defend is not even there, but if it is, we are prepared.
Aubrey's story
I HAD SEEN a television show about a young girl that had been abducted from a carwash and had a particularly horrendous rape, beatings and murder over a few day period. Making a decision to get a quick car wash before doing other things changed her existence forever. I had known a family in the area, whose daughter was abducted from a shopping mall in broad daylight, raped and murdered also. In fact one of the safety devices I have is one they developed.
SO, ONE DAY, I was at the carwash thinking of that woman who had been abducted, that I had heard about on a show or the news, looking around suspiciously for any vans, because that is a common vehicle for abduction. I thought about that as I viewed another woman cleaning her car. Wouldn't that be a cool idea to create some kind of safety net for women. Something where we recognized each other like people in a gang do. At one time no one could wear a certain color clothes because they would be identified with that gang. Now I think there are just so many it doesn't matter, but it may, depending on where it is. Anyway, I started thinking along those same lines, but instead of a gang type of group where so many are violent, hurtful, killing, abusive, this one would be the opposite! I was just getting so sick and tired of hearing about all the evil proliferating in our society. I thought good was supposed to overcome evil. Even in shows anymore you see the devil winning a lot I envisioned an insignia of some kind on our cars and in seeing that on the other woman's car, catching their eye and giving some kind of hand signal like they do in gangs, or like we did back in the 70"s, the peace sign. Just thinking about that gave me a warm feeling. A sisterhood, or a Hood, as they say in gangs, of Sisters. A camaraderie of sorts. A feeling of a "part of" instead of isolated within the mass of indifferent humanity. Then the day of "Enough!" happened and I decided to start working on creating it.
MY OWN EXPERIENCE where I was a young, vulnerable, terribly trusting 16 year old, turned into a gang sexual assault by boys that I thought were my friends, in a small town in Nebraska. That scarred me for life!
BUT IT DIDN'T STOP THERE. Since I had fallen for the mystique of the media, that what every young girl wants, is to be blonde, blue eyed, and have a good figure. I had all of those, and throw in the dumb blonde, which I really wasn't, but extremely trusting and "saying no" had not been put on the "to do" list. So I became the perfect victim for the insidious, vigilant abuser. I fit that mold to a tee, and the abusers smelled me out. There were several more sexual assaults and 2 of them were rapes. The last one was particularly brutal. I did not think I would come out of that alive, and it took a lot of quick thinking on my part to do so.
EVEN THOUGH there would be no more rapes or assaults for me after the last one, because I would have killed anyone who tried from that point on, I lived daily with the paranoia, internal shame and fear that came from those experiences. At the time this happened to me there were no organizations for women, or anyone to talk to. In fact you didn't talk about it, and I didn't. But psychologically I was a mess. People could see it, but they didn't have a clue as to what had happened to me. I actually didn't know myself. I had hidden it under the carpet, from my sight also.
FEAR IS AN OUTCOME of abuse, and it flows over into the most mundane things. It is not a comfortable thing to live with. And with sexual abuse it often takes on the form of exaggerated paranoia. It is the victim constantly watching out to protect her or himself from further attack. No one likes having to be fearful all the time. And yet every day we hear about another woman being abducted or raped, or murdered in commonplace areas. Parks, flat tire, going to her car, public parking lots, dark parking lots, hiking, camping, grabbed from a car at a stop sign or gas station, jogging, going for a walk, going out alone at night, going to a bar by herself. All these things that men take for granted, we as women have to be aware of all the time, because it's in a split second where we don't pay attention, our bodies and spirits can become abused, violated or wiped out. I am not saying that that does not happen with men, because it does, as well as children, but women have consistently been the victims throughout human existence out of ignorance, poor judgment and physical ability to protect.
I WAS ALSO MUGGED, kicked and left with a bloody nose by a group of boys on a street in New York City once, as well as being the object of target once, by a psycho boyfriend. Although I did not go to school to learn about the art of self defense, nor do I have any degrees framed on the wall giving me some title for how many times I was raped and beaten. I feel I am very qualified in expounding about this particular issue, because I didn't read about it, I LIVED IT! I have also helped many women for over 14 years with work I do in Neuro Linguistic programming, to change their patterns of behavior and feeling that relate to the abuse.
IT TOOK ME A LIFETIME to work on the damage done by the abuse. I searched every corner of philosophy, psychology, metaphysical, religious, you name it, to help myself. Bit by bit I started mending, but it was slow and not until I learned how to do Neuro Linguistic Programming, that I was able to recover from the abuse. You DO NOT have to live WITH it the rest of your life! We are learning more and more about the brain and ways to change it's programming every day!
In conclusion, Aubrey's Heart is simply about trying to make a difference through caring and opening up your heart TO OTHERS.
Roxy's story
My story begins as a terribly dysfunctional, codependent adult child of an alcoholic. After the trauma and drama of living in
that household, I came to believe that I was inferior, unlovable, lonely, disconnected, undeserving and alone. When moving
into adulthood, I carried all that baggage into my first significant relationship. I believed that I had to be what he wanted
me to be or he wouldn't love me anymore. I always had to be someone else because no one would ever love me for me. I was too
flawed.
The relationship went through the normal flow of closeness, then detachment and then closeness again. However, a few months after the closeness again phase I came to realize he possessed a significant temper. I don't even remember what the first real argument was about, but whatever it was, he turned it into a punching match. His name was Dick S. Not that I'm protecting his name, because I wouldn't, it is just that normally in non-fiction, either the names are changed or the entire proper names are never used.
I remained in that relationship for 7 years. Not only was he a physical abuser, he also exhibited psychotic behavior because he showed no remorse. They typical abuser would most often show remorse for their actions. The only remorse he expressed was that he was "sorry it had to happen".
In the 7 years, he would only beat me approximately once a year. The entire year he would build and compound his frustrations from work, family, personal perception of himself, our relationship, anything that affected him. Since he took a very long time to build to the breaking point, each time the beatings became progressively worse. They were longer and more severe and degrading.
The last beating I endured was by far the most violent. It lasted 2 hours. We lived in a town-home, which of course was connected to all the other town-homes, just like an apartment. My neighbors to the north were very close friends. A happily married young couple I adored. They heard everything. They knew what was happening. She wanted to call the police, but her husband said they shouldn't get involved. No one got involved. I ended up in clinical shock for 3 days following the beating. Obviously unable to make good, healthy decisions for myself, someone to intervene on my behalf at that moment could have saved me from myself.
Seven beatings in 7 years...nice number, huh? After living in fear of when it would happen again, I finally accepted what I had always known...that I was as sick as he. I started in counseling for abused women through the YWCA. Integrating that with my life and the influence of family and friends, I finally became strong enough to leave the relationship.
Since then I have depended heavily on the same family and friends theory, extensive abuse counseling, Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings and intense self-help to move past my belief that "I deserved it".
I was 19 when I met him and 26 when I left him. I am now 44 years old and no longer believe that "I deserved it", however I still depend greatly on significant people (women) in my life to help me day to day to believe that I only deserve wonderful things in my life. I know it will be a life-long struggle and not something that I will ever arrive at.
I happen to know Aubrey Nye and am proud to call her a very close, personal friend. She has the ability to transform one's life and open it up to all new perceptions and experiences through her NLP counseling, yoga teachings, meditations and spirituality. With her brainchild, "Aubrey's Heart", she is making the commitment to other women to offer help in any situation they may have or need help with, within her capacity to do so.
My story is ideal testimony to the fact that sometimes we just can't do it alone. It takes other people to love and support us and help us to make the right decisions. I know I will never be physically abused again and I have been able to let that fear, anger and resentment go, but I didn't do it alone. If my "friend" had made the commitment to help within her capacity to do so, the police would have been called, I would not have suffered the severe beating that I did, possibly charges would have been filed against him (because we were not married, I could press charges), and things would have turned out differently for me that day. I believe in our ability to help within our capacity to do so, and I applaud Aubrey Nye for the idea, the concept and sincere desire to lay her heart out to all the other women in the world who need it.
Roxanne S.
Useful tips
1. WATCH YOUR PURSE.
Recently I was at the supermarket. Put my groceries in the car and my purse, walked about 5 cars away to put the cart back and my purse was stolen. Watch out in grocery stores and out! I had been told that a dozen times, even leaving your purse in the cart while taking something off the shelve, but didn't listen.
2. HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF.
In Omaha Nebraska at this time we have a serial rapist. The newspaper put in this information for women. LOCK your home's windows and doors. Don't leave first-floor windows open at night - prowlers easily can remove the screen. CHECK that deadbolts aren't attached to rotted doorframes. ASK a male friend to record the outgoing message on your answering machine. Even if you live alone, use the pronoun "we" in the message, such as , "We're not available right now." Or simply use the machine's pre-programmed message. LIST two names on your apartment mailbox if you live alone. Your landlord will k now the difference, but a sexual predator won't. ARRANGE a timer to periodically turn on house lights during the day. CHANGE your daily patterns so you're not following the same routine. FORM a specific plan for what you'll do if attacked. Taking 15 minutes to read a self-defense pamphlet isn't enough. IF YOU DECIDE to take action, fight back early and with as much force as possible.
This is my story and my reason for doing this.
Moving Beyond Physical Abuse
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This site has all kinds of information for women on self defense and safety. Free E-books downloads.
The Stun-Gun is a very useful item that I believe all women should have. It definitely made me feel more comfortable taking walks in the park, walking from a parking area, driving long distances, etc. It is legal in Nebraska, but you have to have it showing while caring it:
FOR STUN GUNS:
http://www.actionstunguns.com
http://search.ebay.com/stun-guns_W0QQsokeywordredirectZ1QQfromZR8
http://www.selfdefensenow.com
Self Defense Tools
For Your Safety:
Offers home and personal alarms, pepper sprays, animal repellers, diversion safes, instructional videos and more.
Lots of interesting information and tools to know about and use.
LEGAL OPTIONS:
http://www.sexualharassmentpolicy.com
HEALTH CARE FOR WOMEN:
Free mammogram, Pap smear, glucose, hemoglobin, cholesterol in the Omaha area for women.
Every Woman Matters 1-800-532-2227 or call for info in your area.
http://www.wchr.net/every_women.htm
FREE TESTING:
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
http://www.afghanwomensmission.org/
Back Pain Site:
Info about Conditions, Therapies, Exercises, and Doctors who Treat Back Pain.
http://www.1backpain.com
Tendonitis.net - Your Source for Tendonitis Information and Treatment Options:
Description: Are You suffering from Tendonitis? Tendonitis.net offers information and treatment options about tendonitis, tendonitis treatment, tendonitis symptoms, tendonitis relief, tendonitis pain and more. http://www.tendonitis.net/
Skin Care Resource Center:
The Skin Care Resource Center contains over forty articles on skin care, and facial skin care, interviews with dermatologists, information on natural skin care products as well as reviews of facial skin care products. http://www.skin-care-support.org/
Fibromyalgia Support Center:
Everything you need to know to live the life you want to live. A resource for those wanting to learn about fibromyalgia or learn how to fight the disease. Contains over eighty articles on fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. http://www.fibromyalgia-support.org/
Our staff is headed by Dr. Edward F. Group III, D.C., Ph.D., ND, DACBN.ÿ He has worked in conjunction with 11 of the top degenerative disease specialists in the world specializing in Fibromyalgia
Make-up & Cosmetics Central:
Visit Make-up & Cosmetics Central for make-up tips, and information on properly applying make-up. Also contains product reviews of the hottest make-up products. Make sure you visit Make-up and Cosmetics Central before you make your next make-up purchase. http://www.make-up-cosmetics.com
Be Well Books, Music and Gifts:
We are a co-op made up of twelve creative and spiritual goddesses who bring their talents together to offer new age products & services to you at reasonable prices.
When you make a purchase from our store, you are supporting women in your community. If you have a talent or product you would like to share with your community, join us!
Be Well."
http://www.BeWellGifts.com
Weightloss Tapes and CDs:
The product that we are selling on this web site is an excellent weight loss tape.
It has a simple, easy to do hypnosis that takes you into a wonderful state of relaxation that makes it easier for the suggestions to go into your subconscious.
Hypnosis is simply the clearing and quieting of the mind, a state we go into all the time in our every day life, meditation, prayer, before sleep, etc.
It has been proven that this state can enhance suggestions put into the mind at that time.
http://www.personalcommunications.net/weightlo.html
To add my Personal Communications link to your site:
Title:
Personal Communications
Description:
Excellent self help tapes to eliminate Public Speaking and social anxiety, Weight Loss Hypnosis that changes your thought patterns and makes it easy, Dental anxiety, Fear of Flying, Relaxation tapes that really help with sleeping and stress, and much more!
URL:
http://www.personalcommunications.net/
Logos:
To add Aubrey's Heart link to your site:
Title:
Aubrey's Heart
Description:
Women helping women by simply wearing a sticker or placing it on your car and agreeing to help other women within your capacity to help. Become part of a fast growing awareness to make a difference against the greed, brutality and cruelty that is growing rapidly in our society. Getting back to what is important and moral!
URL:
http://www.aubreysheart.com/aubreysheart/
or:
http://www.personalcommunications.net/aubreysheart.html
Logos:
To Purchase Aubrey's Heart stickers:
PayPal has a set price of $4.00 for shipping within these amounts, so the price plus the shipping reflects the total price of each item. this means that the $1 for 25 stickers is actually $5.00 and that includes the shipping, and so forth.
Payment can also be made to:
Personal Communications
PoBox. 642031,
Omaha, Nebr. 68164
We would love to hear from you:
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